headache

I am way too laid back =(
this I admit and I try and try to make it work
but why won't it work??!!
I want to do this, to finish and hand in this report because it is just too important
yet why am I not that motivated to do it any more?
Do I really need a rest that bad?
Or am I just afraid of whats going to come after these exams
these evaluations
these interviews?

I think I am afraid of university
I really think I am
What if I cannot cope with it?
 AM I going to fall under pressure???
It is not early anymore
the deadline is near
Its a whole new world out there
have all my decisions up till today lead me to this?
will I regret anything that I have done?
As I get closer to society
I can start to feel different vibes all around me
the thought of meeting different types of people
again
and coping
and trying to satisfy my own view of the world
what would I do in the face of pressure?
what would I do when fear is my adversary?
SO many things to do and consider

to be honest, I am childish and selfish

I do not want change
hypocritically
I do want a change
which is what is confusing me know
I hope the world can fall in to perfectly aligned pieces
but I know better
I know that the world has simply too many variables
so many that even statistical probability shows that
It is IMPROBABLE

Maybe it is the unknown that scares me
maybe its the though of a sudden change that I want to elude
maybe...all I need is a forceful kick from my comfort zone
maybe...all I need is some tough love